So most people know I really enjoy most commercials. I don't have to even like the product someone's offering to find some humor or get some enjoyment out of a commercial. There are, however, some commercials that just bug the snot right out of me.
Last night I was watching tv when a Cottonelle commercial comes on. I'm not sure that this is a new ad, but this was the first time I'd actually paid any attention to what was being said. Generally, I think the Cottonelle commercials are really cute- they're the toilet paper brand that uses yellow Labs instead of angels or babies or cartoon bears as their spokespeople (er, animals), and anyone who uses puppies is usually going to get my vote for cuteness.
However, this particular commercial was not the work of a marketing genius.
The commercial opens with the puppy headed to a spa, for some "me time". He gets a manicure, a massage, a trim, and then looks in the mirror and says, and I quote "Lookin' sexy." WHAT?!
A dog, who can not be more than 12 or 16 weeks old has to look SEXY? What is the country coming to that this is the type of advertising we think is cute and appropriate? Never mind the fact that the company is advertising toilet paper, which really is not a sexy product, but they are using puppies to do it.
Let us reflect. Puppies do not need day spas. Puppies do not, for that matter, need toilet paper. Even if we could get past those giant facts, puppies are not sexy, and America should be ashamed that I am apparently the only person who was completely offended by this commercial.
I do not, by any means, consider myself a prude. However, I do consider this country completely oversexed in completely inappropriate ways. Hawking toilet paper with puppies calling themselves sexy is a prime example of this. Then we wonder why our five year old children want to dress like Britney Spears and sing "Talk Dirty to Me" like they know what it means while shaking their pelvises Elvis-style. When you have a puppy telling you it looks sexy like there's nothing wrong with that, it has certainly become just a part of everyday life.
I googled "Cottonelle Commercial" and many, many hits came back on that particular commercial. None of the websites that came back on the first three pages mentioned anything at all about outrage at sex being used. In fact, most of them were video links to the "adorable" "cute" or "charming" commercial.
Why didn't Cottonelle use a different adjective? Everyone else seems to have been able to think of one. Adorable would have fit. Cute, charming, cuddly, fluffy; any number of things other than sexy would have been safer, more child-friendly, and more applicable to both toilet paper and puppies.
I considered writing a nasty-gram to Cottonelle telling them basically all of the above, and that they'd lost a regular customer. But let's face it- I never really bought Cottonelle on a regular basis anyhow. Puppies aside, my behind is not all that sensitive, and I am quite cheap. I have bought Cottonelle before, but I tend to buy whatever's on sale, and that usually isn't. Perhaps they should make cheaper commercials that simply say "Our toilet paper is soft and strong and works well. Please try it. It won't make you sexy or rich or strong or beautiful, but nothing does- except maybe a sex appeal book on tape, a get rich quick scheme, a nautilus home gym system, or beauty products. But toilet paper isn't any of those, and even they can't exactly guarantee results. We can, and if *our* product doesn't work, you can flush it down the drain, which is not something everyone can say."
If any company at all would say that, I'd be their loyal customer for life. Even if I wasn't sexy.
